


At The Opera 2nite

by shadow_in_the_shade



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sibling Incest, Texting, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:14:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6822346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_in_the_shade/pseuds/shadow_in_the_shade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU, text messages between various parties on the night of the opera. All available pairings and 3- ways between Anatole/ Helene/ Dolokhov, plus some Anatole/ Natasha. Utter 100% crack fic.</p><p>This is probably an absolute travesty upon any fandom so I've tagged it solely for Great Comet even though it maybe vaguely works for War and Peace book fandom too but I just can't sully literature like that so I'm sorry Great Comet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At The Opera 2nite

**I can only apologise in advance for this ridiculous fic, and I’m sorry if it’s hard to read, I actually got my beta to fix the text speak so it was even MORE text – speaky, so that was kinda the idea. Whenever there’s a –x- that indicates a short time lapse.**

**At The Opera 2nite**

**Helene – Anatole:**

@ opera. u said ud meet me here. wre r u?

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

Am running l8. Blame Dolokhov lol xxxx

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

so Dolokhov just got here, I can c him frm box. y r u not with him?

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

Gonna come in l8, lol, make a good entrance luv u xxxx :-)

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

Hey, up here! I can c u! The fuck u wearing?  y r u down there? come join me! xx

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

btw wtf happened to Anatole? he said he was with u.

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

aw u don’t like it? it’s totally purple. idk about Anatole. lol

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

It doesn’t look purple. wtf?

 

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

Fuck. I meant Persian, not purple. Fucking predictive text. lol

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

lol. :-) get ur butt up here!

 

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

Nah. got front row seats. ur box is minging.

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

Eww that sounds gross lol.

 

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

Have u seen that Natasha girl? get her in ur box instead & stop texting me! I can c u. just shout!

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

God, shut up about my box. u suck. xx

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

I GOT NATASHA! WOOT WOOT! LOL :-)

 

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

Turn your phone off already! The opera’s started!

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

wtaf is Anatole?

-x-

**Helene – Anatole:**

wtf Anatole, ur disturbing EVERY1. I can hear ur shit jangling all the way up here!

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

bro no, people are totes staring u & Dolokhov look well homo 2gthr.

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

Sis, stop texting ur ruining my entrance lol.

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

Who dat? she fit <3 <3 <3 :-) :-) :-)

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

ffs Anatole.

**Helene – Anatole:**

that’s Natasha Rostova. come & join us in the interval?

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

OMG YES! :-)

-x-

**Anatole – Helene:**

Quick – how do I say “pretty women” in French?

**Helene – Anatole:**

omg u r literally sat right next to me. les joli femmes. lol

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

Thx <3 xxxx

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

u r a dick Anatole.

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

omg shut up. I think she digs me.

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

Tell her we’re having a party 2mro at mine

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

awesome! r we?

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

We can do yeah, if she’s up 4 it, lol

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

ur the best! <3 <3 <3

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

I gave her ur phone no 2.

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

*hugs and kisses!!* imma do bad things 2 u l8r! <3 <3 <3 <3 <==8

 

**Dolokhov – Anatole:**

r u eva coming back or r u gonna have a 3sum in that box? xx

 

**Anatole – Dolokhov:**

Sounds good lol. but srsly we’ll have 1 l8r. ass face is out of town & H has the house 2 herself. ;-)

 

**Dolokhov – Anatole:**

On it. xx

 

-x-

 

**Natasha – Anatole:**

omg it was so nice 2 cu last 2nite! can’t wait for the party xx

**Anatole – Natasha:**

la meme ma belle, c’etait charmante! xxxx <3 <3

 

**Natasha – Anatole:**

Hold on who is this? I thought u were Helene?

 

**Anatole – Natasha:**

oops, she must have given u my no. by mistake lol, wrong Kuragin!

 

**Natasha – Anatole:**

omg I am totally embarrassed *blushes furiously*. uh – it was nice 2 c cu 2 tho! :-)

 

**Anatole – Natasha:**

Best nite EVA!!!! <3 <3 <3 :-) :-) :-)

 

-x-

 

**Helene – Anatole:**

stop texting already! like we are literally in bed r t f now!

 

**Anatole – Helene:**

lol, sorry sis. xxxxxxxx

 

**Dolokhov – Anatole & Helene: **

ffs can u both drop ur damn phones already & deal with my dick?

 

-x-

 

**Anatole – Dolokhov & Helene:**

OMG IMMA GONNA SEND NAT A DICK PIC!!!!

 

**Helene & Dolokhov – Anatole: **

ANATOLE NOOOOO!                

 

**Anatole – Helene & Dolokhov:**

ANATOLE YES!!!! :-D

 

**Helene – Dolokhov:**

lol, I just chucked his phone out the window.

**Helene – Anatole’s Phone:**

Nite bro, luv u! xxxx

 

**Dolokhov – Helene:**

I h8 u guys xxxx

 

__x__


End file.
